Volume 57: The Miseducation Of The Platinum Pussy

“Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.”  –Oscar Wilde

            Mary B. Morrison once said that Pussy is sweeter than honey and more valuable than money. To some, the word pussy is simply an English Word meaning cat. To others, it’s also a slang word that refers to the female genitalia. Pussy is also a pejorative term that implies cowardice or weakness-a disparaging and dismissive term that sometimes describes a woman regarded only as a sex partner. What most don’t know is that the word pussy is actually a shortened version of the word “pusillanimous”, which comes from Latin words meaning “tiny spirit” and is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “showing a lack of courage and determination” or cowardly. Today, women find themselves in positions that fifty years ago, no one would have thought they’d be in. Women have evolved from stigmas of being restricted to cooking, cleaning, tending to children or utilizing sex to ultimately get what they want. Today, women are CEO’s of major companies, business and fashion moguls, and are also politicians. The average black woman in America has a higher credit score than the average black man; they represent the much larger population enrolled in college, and are buying property faster than we are. It’s actually beautiful to see. Divorces are up because frankly women don’t have to put up with our shit and remain in unhappy marriages due to financial dependency the way that perhaps our Mothers and Grandmothers had done. Radio airwaves play tracks from female R&B and hip hop artists-many of them boasting of their independence, ownership of assets, as well as other materialistic bullshit. A first date with the modern-day sista may consist of them dropping their verbal resume of accolades over dinner, reminding us for the hundredth time that they’ve got their own this, and they’ve got their own that and they don’t need no man. Yes…the modern-day woman is definitely doin’ it big.
            But despite all the wonderful things that I see my sistas doing and the new plateaus of independence and respect they continually attain, it’s always sad when you see the population of sistas who believe that they contain some sort of mythological Pussy. The women who believe in the myth of the Platinum Pussy are the ones who feel as though they can change a man and his current state of thinking, based on how good the pussy is, or whether or not she chooses to in fact have sex with him. 
            Now, many of the educated female movers and shakers of the world may think that proclamations of the “Platinum Puss” are reserved for the ghetto, oversexed and undereducated women…but as many men will confirm…there are large amounts of overachieving women-wasting away their best years-trying to change the mind of a man through sex.
I meet women who consistently bash brothers for their child-like antics; many of those women ironically are in fact themselves card-carrying members of the platinum puss club. They’re romantically involved with their polar opposite-naively believing that they can change him into their dream man. It’ll never work. But in life, you’ll always have those who prefer to ice-skate uphill.
            I stated before that women sign contracts in invisible ink. Men are far less complex than we’re made out to be. Most of us show you exactly who we are from the jump, but women who believe in the platinum puss hear what they wanna hear. We tell them we don’t want a relationship. They hear “I don’t want a relationship right now…but give me a little time and I’ll likely change my mind.”
They believe that they can change our mindset even though we’ve told them exactly what we want and what we don’t want. Then after months and sometimes even years of avoiding the inevitable, reality sinks in that a man will not change who he is. And that’s when they go crying to Women’s Magazines, talk radio and legions of single girlfriends…to tell the tale of how men are all dogs.
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”  -Albert Einstein

            Believing that you can withhold sex to force us into an ultimatum for a relationship-I knew a young lady who was interested in a relationship with me. At the time I wasn’t looking to get involved. I was fresh out of a long relationship, and unlike many, I give myself time between relationships to assess what went wrong, what could have been done better, and how to avoid history from repeating itself by dating the exact same person I just broke up with. I met a successful, attractive, educated woman who was a great catch…on paper. When I first met her, my spidey-sense told me that she would be a case similar to what I had a history of running into: a woman who had a man already, but selfishly wanted to still play the market. The signs were there. She always wanted to come to my place and never wanted to chill in the area she lived in. Of course she swore up and down and she was single, had been so for some time, and had great difficulty finding a man in America’s 5th largest city. Ladies…none of us believe that shit anymore. In today’s society, even a man can find a man! Do you honestly want us to believe that attractive women can walk the streets and not be relentlessly harassed and approached by men?
            But anyway, she wanted a relationship, and the bottom line is…she wasn’t gonna get one. I was very open about my intentions and she was adamant on changing my mind. When the subject of sex arose she proceeded to tell one of the most common lies that women tell: “I don’t have casual sex. I only have sex with the man I’m in a relationship with.”
I’m sure she thought I’d change my stance, just to please my carnal appetites. She was wrong. Women hafta realize that they cannot withhold the pussy, in exchange for promises of a relationship. Some foolishly try to dangle the shit over our heads like an 8-ounce sirloin steak, hoping that we will jump their hoops like a trained golden retriever. They still fail to realize that sex relieves tension…love causes it. You can’t “trick” us into falling for you. You’ll wind up looking very stupid every time.

            Believing that you can use the pussy to change your current relationship status/Take someone else’s man- Everyone knows someone who is the “other woman” aka the mistress, aka the side-jawn. The biggest myth about the Platinum Puss is when the side jawn believes that a married man will leave his wife (and many times his family) in order to be with her. Ladies…it doesn’t matter how well you give head. It doesn’t matter how pretty your face is or how fat your ass is. You can ride a dick so good that it comes off and screams “No Mas” during sex. The end result will always be the same. The wife will be the wife…and you will be the side jawn. He can make promises. He can buy you things. He can even give you money in exchange for discretion. Ultimately your position will not change, so if you’re gonna play a mistress role…play it well. It’s like the spoiled professional athlete who complains about the contract he agreed to and now wants to renegotiate it for a better deal. That married brotha will be as unfazed to your bullshit as the team owner is to the athlete who naively thinks he is bigger than the sport itself. At the end of the day, you’ll never get what you want. Two years later, you’re still the other woman…arguing with girlfriends who care about you and tell you the truth-he’s not leaving. There’s a reason-other than sex-that she’s the wife and everyone else isn’t. If it were solely based on mindless sex, we’d all marry the town whore…but we don’t.
Last but certainly not least…

Believing that you can use the pussy to change the inevitable-it’s one of the dumbest and most commonly observed things that I see women do. Shit, that’s why I stopped hooking people up. Female friends would meet and take interest in certain male friends of mine. They’d ask, “Wassup with _____?” and I’d tell em’ straight up, “listen…based on your personalities…it’s a technical mismatch. I wouldn’t hook you guys up. You’re looking for two different things.” (It was the nicest way that I could explain that my male friend wasn’t shit…and wasn’t gonna change)
They’d nod their head in agreement, tell me they understand, and often thank me for my honesty. A week later, I’d get a phone call saying that they went out on a date, and things went horribly wrong. Wownow…he ended up being everything I told them he’d be, and with having had that information beforehand, they still insisted on doing the same thing I urged them not to do. The difference between a wise man and a fool is that the wise man does in the beginning what the fool doesn’t do until the end. A quick word of advice ladies: Sometimes meeting new people in our lives can be similar to Black Friday shopping with your last bit of money left. Every now and then, you go to that store that has a No Refund policy. You have that outfit that is looking right at you and the price is right. Shit, the price is so right…you’d feel like quite the fool to not buy. But you wanna try it on to make sure it fits-remember you can’t take it back- and you’re running short on time. You got places to go and you need to get there fast. Though the price looks good, you don’t wanna invest the little bit of money you have left on this outfit that cannot be returned if you don’t like it.
            We sometimes meet these sale item people in life and our patience with dating is running short like our bank accounts. No refund policies are like mistakes…we can’t take them back! We made some costly purchases in the past that weren’t worth the investment. Seemingly too good for MACY’s, we got people that chase Sak’s Fifth Avenue relationships-only to find out that overpriced shirt wasn’t shit after the 1st time it got washed and now it’ll never fit the same. Sometime we invest in expensive shit to floss for others and they don’t even notice.
            Some folk we meet have a No Refund policy. If you decide to invest in em, you better be sure they’re what you want because you may find yourself stuck with them or stuck in the situations that a night of passion can bring. Be sure they fit within the parameters of your life and how you choose to live it, because there is no such thing as Platinum Pussy that can change a man’s way of thinking. We all see the current situation with the newly-married Alicia Keys and how she transitioned from mistress to wife…let’s see how long she stays there… I’m sure we all know the outcome.

“The woman who appeals to a man’s vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination that gets him.”    -Helen Rowland

…These Are The Random Thoughts Of Ronald Gray…