“A Man who does not think for himself does not think at all.”
The summer is approaching fast; with every new season comes the emergence and re-emergenceof Philadelphia’s ever growing displays of Niggerdom. My city will bid a due to many dumb trends and ideals, while the floodgates will open up once again for more. The city will be overrun with things that the educated Negro cannotunderstand and things that I want to see vanquished by summer’s end…
During a time of economic crisis, a FACE TATTOO ranks up there as one of the dumbest things a person can get, much less PAYfor. There was a time when the only thing you’d see on a person’s face would be the infamous teardrop tattoos from idiotic members of gangs, symbolizing someone they’ve killed-or someone close being killed. Now you’ll see various tattoos located on a man/woman’s face-things ranging from initials…to symbols…to animals. I’d pay to see the expression on the middle aged Corporate asshole’s face when a 20-something year oldwalks into their office, with some form of Niggerdom tattooed on their face…or neck. I have an idea; how about a tattoo across the forehead that reads: WHY BOTHER HIRING ME? –Because that is clearly what anyone (including myself) conducting an interviewwould think. Tattooing anything on the face should be punishable by limiting the applicant to the following menial jobs: A Fry Cook at the local fast food restaurant, Selling DVD’s and Muslim oils at the local barbershops, The guy that hand dries your car at the car wash, Or the random guy in the red pickup that scrapes dead animals off the highway all day in the blistering summer heat.
What’s the appeal with black sistas and STUPID HAIR-COLORS?!? I think I speak for all of us educated brothas when I say that I am sick and tired of seeing beautiful sistas wearing hot pink hair. I think a law should be formed which would enable me or any otherbrotha to give a sista with a stupid hair color a swift kick in the backside. And to make things more fun, the amount of kicks to her ass allowed- should be based on how stupid the hair color is.
Platinum Blonde on a dark-skinned sista should be punishable by one kick,platinum hair should be rewarded with two kicks. Green or Blue Hair should be given three kicks, and bright red or hot pink hair receives four kicksto the ass. Shout out to sistas with real hair and natural hair-it’s a rare sight here in Philly. We love y’all.
Perhaps with the warmer weather, we will finally see the death of SKINNY JEANS forever. And is it just me? Or are people wearing the skinny jeans falling off of their asses? Sagging skinny jeans are not cool…never were cool…and never will be. They insinuatehomosexuality faster than being the token male cheerleader at your former high school. I never thought I’d see the day where you’d have black kids on skateboards, with fittedHollister tees and skinny jeans falling off their asses-but that day has come-and I can’t wait for it to end.
We’ve touched on the rising popularity of facial tattoos sweeping the nation; morons of all ages transforming their faces into a means to publicly display their stupidity…but Philadelphia and every other big city still has a plethora of what I refer to as DUMB ASS TATTOOS.
The Summer is coming and if you live in the inner city (like me), prepare yourself for two of the most annoying sounds of the summer: BAD-ASS KIDS playing in the street all day…and the fucking jingle of the ICE CREAM TRUCK. There is no worse combination of sounds to totally fuck up one’s day and make you wish that you lived in the suburbs. Kids in Philadelphia hit the streets at 9:00 am and seem to never go inside at night. The musical jingle of the Ice Cream trucks, which has never changed in my 29 years of existence, drives anyone insane after too many rounds. Add a multitude of big head kids, playing football in the street (when the playground is a block away) and hitting your car with the ball 3 times an hour, and darting from between parked cars in the street without looking. Finally, we have the asshole double-parked next to 2-3 perfectly good parking spaces on the one-way street. You try not to blow your horn at this fool or yell at him, because residents of this city know that Philadelphia is the Mecca of random and senseless violence! But that inner hood-negro in us all wants to count backwards from 3 and run the fool down in a rage-filled frenzy! If you’ve witnessed these things… you have a concept of a Philadelphia summer! I hate it and I want it to stop-before it even starts!
I pray that I won’t have to see the re-emergence of the LONG WHITE TEES. This trend is a favorite among the thugs and goons of the city-as well as the imposters. The truly pathetic thing about it is that the super long white tees remind me of the attire of 13 and 14 year old white girls, while having a slumber party! When I see a pack of losers…all wearing white tees, blue jeans, and usually tan timberland boots or Air Force Ones…I just wanna stare and wait for them to pillow fight or tell scary stories and make hot cocoa! The irony is that you have the hardest cats wearing the softest attire. And what’s up with brothas wearin’ Timberland construction boots all year round…meanwhile doing nothing constructive in them? But I guess that’s a random thought for the future, huh? (laughing) A question for the sistas: 90% of brothers in Philly look alike…everyone knows this. The typical guy here can be seen on a daily basis in a 4XL White tee, a pair of blue jeans (usually Rocawear), and a pair of timberland boots; this ensemble with be accessorized with an oversized fitted hat (usually a Phillies one) and various moronic tattoos of overused sayings like Only God Can Judge Me or The Good Die Young or how can we forget the played out M.O.B tattoos, which stands for Money Over Bitches. (rolling my eyes) My friends from outta state always talk about how all Philly guys have “Freeway Beards”, which are actually beards worn by Sunni Muslims-which Philly has plenty of. My question to the ladies is this: Since an overwhelming majority of guys from Philly look alike and follow the same lame ass trends and ideals…how the fuck do you decide who’s attractive and who’s not?!? What the hell are women thinking when they see these guys? Maybe they’re talking to they’re friend like, “Guuuuurl...look at HIM! His T-shirt is so white and ironed!
(shaking my head)
Yep…The summer’s coming…and the thoughts keep coming as well….
…These Are The Random Thoughts of Ronald Gray…